This episode is dedicated to the memory of our friend and former colleague, Don Leverich.
Helping Children Understand Death and Grief
Nicole addresses one of the more common and sensitive questions staff hear at the children’s desk: how to talk to a child when a person (or beloved pet) has died.
Drawing on guidance from the Fred Rogers Institute, she emphasizes being open to questions, using clear and concrete language, and avoiding euphemisms. Phrases like “went to the farm,” “went to sleep and didn’t wake up,” or even vague “passed away” can create confusion or unnecessary fear. It is better to say someone “died” in a calm, kind way and explain that their body stopped working. Children are often more resilient than adults expect, and leaving things ambiguous can lead them to invent explanations that are scarier than the truth.
Nicole notes that earlier generations of children were more routinely exposed to death (multi-generational households, higher childhood mortality). Today the topic can feel more abstract, which makes honest conversation even more valuable. Seeing adults grieve appropriately also helps children understand that sadness is normal.
Recommended resources available at the library include:
- Parent guides such as Helping Children Cope with the Loss of a Loved One
- Classic picture books: The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst and Nana Upstairs & Nana Downstairs by Tomie dePaola (both notably direct for their time)
- Nonfiction titles that walk children through losing a parent or exploring what grief looks and feels like
- For older teens and young adults: A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness (also a film)
The overall message is practical and compassionate: death is part of life, and libraries have tools to help families talk about it when the time comes. The short Fred Rogers Institute guide “When Someone a Child Loves Dies” is especially useful.
New Books Worth Checking Out
Sara turns to a more upbeat shelf: recent arrivals in the adult new books area (look for the blue stars near the reference desk in Centereach or upstairs in Selden). She offers quick teasers:
- The Hidden City by Charles Finch — A Charles Lenox mystery set in 1879 Victorian London in which the amateur sleuth must solve a puzzle woven into the city’s architecture itself.
- I Didn’t Kill My Husband by Linda Kier — A thriller about a lifestyle influencer whose carefully curated world unravels.
- The Radiant Dark by Alexandra Oliva — A family saga that begins with ordinary life in the Adirondacks in 1980 and takes an extraordinary turn involving possible communication from another planet.
- The Dorians by Nick Cutter — Body-horror from the author of The Troop. Elderly volunteers on a remote Canadian island are offered the chance to reverse aging—at a terrifying cost. Clive Barker called it “utterly terrifying.”
- Starry and Restless — Profiles of three adventurous women (including Martha Gellhorn and Rebecca West) who chased stories, danger, and independence across the 20th century.
- Wildwood by Amy Pease — A mother-son law-enforcement team confronts buried secrets and a wider conspiracy in Wisconsin’s remote north woods.
- Dinner at the Night Library by Hika Harada (translated by Philip Gabriel) — A warm, bookish Japanese novel about a mysterious “night library,” literary misfits, and the question of whether friendship and a love of books can save a special place.
- Taste of Home Soups & Breads — More than 200 comfort-food recipes for the coming cooler months (or any time—Sarah is a year-round soup enthusiast).
Many of these titles are also available as e-books and audiobooks. Cookbooks, too, can often be borrowed digitally.
Fred Rogers Institute resource: When Someone a Child Loves Dies
